Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Fat Lady on a Treadmill - Day Nineteen

So I was wondering if a person could live in a twenty-four hour gym. Today is day nineteen for me and there are a few folks I see everyday no matter what time I arrive at the pit. Not that I’m there all that long. I tend to limit my workout to around 40-50 minutes since I’m going every day, but these people are there when I arrive and still going when I leave. Like any random survey, these numbers are subject to interpretation. It did get me thinking though. If you had nowhere else to go could you live in the place?

Clearly I’ve become oxygen deprived at the lofty heights of the skyscraper I’m climbing. Today the guy who climbs backwards is here, still going strong. So is the guy who sweats enough to short out the whole system as he climbs at a sprint for longer than I am at the pit. Maybe these guys live here, but I don’t think so. Call it a hunch, but I think they have homes to go to.

I suspect Trance Lady lives here.

It wouldn’t be all that difficult. As long as you had the monthly fee and some extra cash for food, it seems entirely doable. As I watch a woman with hair fried from too many chemical applications read a magazine and operate an elliptical at the same time I envision how this would work.

You would always have something to do. There is no shortage of activities, from classes to lap swimming to weight lifting. Televisions are everywhere, including the locker room. Keeping up on current events would be easy enough. You could even read as many people do while you walk, pedal or climb. Someone is always leaving a newspaper lying around for the taking.

There are showers and a sauna and lockers for your belongings. There’s even a sofa inside the front door, perfect for a nap. I suspect there are more sofas in the super secret back room where they keep the donuts. I’m still looking for it, but I know it’s there somewhere.

Our gym shares a parking lot with a Jacque LeBox and it’s an easy walk to at least a dozen other eating establishments as well as a grocery store or two. The gym itself sells all manner of power bars and ‘healthy’ beverages so snackage would be easy to come by if you couldn’t find the secret donut stash.

I’m sucking in air somewhere around the fiftieth floor when a woman begins to climb the staircase next to mine. Usually this isn’t too remarkable, except this person is climbing two steps at a time and doing it a whole lot faster than I’m climbing. Where do these people come from? My brain skips a few important synaptic connections to my next random thought.

Just think of all the opportunities to meet people if you actually lived here. Unlike the bus station, people keep coming back to this place, inexplicable as that is. Granted, some of the folks who make their way through the tinted glass doors of the pit are a little on the strange side, but for the most part they appear to be your average garden variety suburbanites.

I’m thinking this whole idea is looking better and better. This is also about the time I reach the sixty-fifth floor and decide it’s time to move to something else. Off I go to the ¾ rack. I tried this yesterday and managed to make it for about ten minutes without falling off. I’m willing to give it another try.

There must be some drawbacks to this living at the pit idea. I haven’t been there in the middle of the night, so I don’t really know what goes on in the wee hours. I suspect this is the time when the cleaning crew comes in. This could be problematic in terms of sleep. Surely the munchkin lockup isn’t used in the middle of the night. That could be an option.

Do vampires work out? I think perhaps they do. This would account for places like this being open around the clock. Another mystery solved.

Clearly I’ve been here too long today. Daughter #1 is ready to go too, so we take ourselves to the locker room. Timing is everything and once again we have failed to take note of the whereabouts of certain regulars. We empty our locker as quickly as possible and make a hasty exit.

I made it up 65 floors, faster than ever before, spent 10 minutes on the ¾ rack at level 2 and rode my favorite virtual bike about half way home. I think I can do this again tomorrow.

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