Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Fat Lady on a Treadmill - Day Twelve

Today I saw the man I want coming to my rescue if I’m at the top of a flaming skyscraper. I never really saw his face, so that isn’t it at all. He was on the elliptical, the one where you adjust the incline and have hand rails instead of moving hand grips. I was behind him on the stair thing-a-ma-jiggy, huffing and puffing my way to the top of the Empire State Building. Mr. Come to my Rescue was with the group of fire fighters I saw the other day, so I can safely assume he is one of them.

So you ask why? What was it about this guy that got my attention? Let me explain. He was going strong on the machine when I arrived. He quit when I had been climbing stairs for twenty-five minutes. This in itself is nothing spectacular. What got to me was that in twenty-five minutes he never held the hand rails, he wasn’t breathing hard, in fact he was carrying on a conversation with his buddy next door as if they were strolling through the mall, and he wasn’t sweating. The entire time he was on the machine his arms were loose at his sides, his shoulders relaxed.

I tell ‘ya. If I’m in a burning building I want this guy coming up the stairs! Gotta love a fire fighter!

Another interesting person caught my attention today. This guy had one of those big rubber balls; you know ,the put it between your legs and show off your hoo-haw type. He was standing on it doing deep knee bends. Now I don’t know about you, but I can barely do a deep knee bend standing flat footed on the floor. I watched in open mouthed awe, well the open mouth was due to me sucking in air somewhere around the sixtieth floor, but I was in awe. I don’t think I’ll be trying that trick anytime soon.

Trance Lady was back and I guess her hypnotist was too. She was on the rack doing her thing, frontwards, backwards, frontwards again until she jumped off. I mean, jumped off the machine while it was still going. Most folks slow to a stop before they get off, not Trance Lady. She leapt off in mid stride and the thing was still going. She pointy toed lunged off out of sight as if everything was cool. I don’t know where she went. I don’t care. She’s weird.

Then there was the guy on the stair thing-a-ma-jig next to me. He was climbing at a pretty good clip when he turns around and starts climbing backwards. What is with these people? It’s all I can do to face forward and stay on my feet. I can’t imagine what kind of damage I could do to myself if I tried to turn around on a moving staircase. Several images flashed in my brain. None of them were good.

I made it to the lower observation deck – 86 floors then added 4 more for cool down before switching to the lounge chair bike for a brisk 5 mile virtual bike ride.

Everything was good until I rounded the corner into the locker room. TOWELS. Why don’t these people use TOWELS?

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