Fat Lady on a Treadmill - Day Ninety-three

I thought that photo would drag you in to read this! I’ll explain later…

I’ve been at this workout thing now for three whole months! Who’d a thought it? In celebration we have moved to a new pit. I can’t say I regret leaving the other pit, but I am sorry I never found the doughnut stash at the old one. I’m sure they had one. All those women coming in the front door and never being seen again had to be going somewhere. I think the secret was in the yoga mats. I should have gotten one for myself. I bet they would have ushered me straight to the doughnuts if I’d been carrying one.

For the last few days Daughter #1 and I have been going to the CCPit. There’s not a lot happening there, in fact it’s a pretty boring place. Of course there was the C+20 women doing the fun noodle crawl in the pool and their husbands hanging out (figuratively – I hope) in the hot tub. I had to do a mental check on that one to make sure I was in California and not Florida. If ever I had contemplated taking the water aerobics class that sight changed my thinking. Won’t be doing that. I staked out my little bit of territory on a rack on the second floor overlooking the weight machines. I programmed the computer to the ‘kill me in small increments’ setting and got busy.

It was heartening to see the firefighters nearby. Our old pit had some that were regulars, but they were off duty. These guys were on duty. How do I know that? Well, the big red truck in the parking lot was telling, and the walkie-talkies stashed in the cup holders clenched the deal. Between them and the portable defibrillator on the wall downstairs I thought it would be safe to proceed. At least I did until I spied the red velvet cupcake riding the lounge chair bike. Well, it wasn’t really a cupcake, but there was a woman wearing a red velour sweat suit with an icing pink t-shirt. Perhaps she reminded me of a cupcake because my favorite place to buy a red velvet cupcake has closed- a victim of these economic times. Maybe I should have bought a few more cupcakes when it was open.

Oh yeah, I bought more than I should have or I wouldn’t have been at the pit to begin with.

As promised in a previous blog, Daughter #1 and I decided to visit the VPit for a little entertainment. There is nothing dull about the VPit. So this morning we hauled ourselves over there and were rewarded for our efforts. Mid-morning the place was hopping. Nearly every aerobic machine was occupied, many by people actually using them! We were able to secure a couple in the front row so we had a good view of the weight room and where the weight room occupants didn’t have so good a view of our backsides.

A good number of Bro’s were there today. I should have paid more attention to the parking lot and its contingent of lifted trucks, but I didn’t and here we were, surrounded by guys with shaved heads, more art etched into their skin than is on the walls of the Louvre, and of course, wearing the requisite wife beater. They’re posing at the various machines for the benefit of the women on the mezzanine – me included- and doing….(drum roll)…..absolutely nothing.

The Bro’s weren’t the only show in town today. I was particularly intrigued by the mom and daughter pair on the exercise balls. Daughter lounged on the big red one, mom on the half sphere. I pedaled my lounge chair bike halfway to Hollywood while they carried on a conversation and did…. absolutely nothing. Daughter eventually changed her pose to a sitting position which must have gotten mom’s approval because she remained there for a good twenty minutes doing….absolutely nothing. Is there a market out there for young women who can perch on rubber balls for long periods of time? Forget I asked that question.

You would think that rubber ball girl would catch the attention of at least one Bro, but alas, they were all trolling for the same thing – to be discovered. Back in the day wanna-be’s hung out at the soda fountain hoping to be discovered. Today it’s the VPit. Good luck with that. Hope it works out for you.

Then there were Barbie and Ken carrying on a conversation on the bench next to the above mentioned posers. Barbie was in the same general area the last time we visited the VPit only that time she actually had to get near a piece of weight equipment before she garnered any male attention. She invested a good twenty minutes in today’s conversation with Ken. I hope she at least got a date out of it, if not an audition. Maybe the next time I see her it will be on the big screen. Call me a cynic, but I suspect the next time I see her she’ll be on that bench again.

I have to admit most of my attention was on the guy at the ab cruncher. He bore a striking resemblance to a certain actor who plays a plumber on a well known Sunday evening show. Yep, that’s the one. I knew you could figure it out. I’d hoped for some inspiring eye candy at the pit and I wasn’t disappointed. It could have been him. I’ve heard he lives in the area and has been seen doing real people stuff like coaching his son’s baseball team. The truth is, I don’t care if it’s him or not. This guy’s the best thing I’ve seen in the pit in three months and famous or not, I was enjoying the view.

Once the eye candy departed the ab cruncher I pretty much lost interest in the rest of the crowd. He was a hard act to follow and the rest of them just weren’t in his league. I did take note of the time. Guess where I’ll be in exactly one week? Who needs a secret doughnut stash when there’s eye candy in the pit?